Thursday, June 30, 2005
Back to singapore
It's h0rribly disorientating. It felt like Melbourne was a dream that i was rudely awakened from. i'm just not ready to come back. For the first time, I was literally dragging my feet to the departure lounge in melbourne. dad was flying me back to singapore.
Immigrations
Stuck behind some idiot who was trying to be funny with the immigrations officer. Shit. i need to get to my h/p
Departure lounge.
Finally!punched in numbers into my h/p.. finally got to hear your voice.
don't know what to say. I can't believe i'm leaving. crap.. i can't believe i 'm leaving. Bloody AMS
Still don't wanna put down the phone.. just wanna close my eyes and listen to you. Even if we aren't saying much.
almost thot i was gonna hear this announcement.
" Last call for passenger Xue Ling Tan for SQ 228. Your dad demands you drop that phone and get your butt onto the plane now, he is not leaving without you. You're gonna get a grounding if you don't move your ass..."
It's like 14th june all over again.
Landed in singapore. back to my family.
I guess the feeling is sorta bitter sweet. I'm glad to see the ones i love again, sad to leave the one i love.
Yeah.. it's home alright. It felt as though i woke up from the day after Feb 14th and just went right on living. But there's a part of me that's missing.
think i left it in melbourne.
I think i left it in Princess park, in Janet clark hall, on the streets of the city, by the Yarra river...
I won't be able to find it till next year.
It's h0rribly disorientating. It felt like Melbourne was a dream that i was rudely awakened from. i'm just not ready to come back. For the first time, I was literally dragging my feet to the departure lounge in melbourne. dad was flying me back to singapore.
Immigrations
Stuck behind some idiot who was trying to be funny with the immigrations officer. Shit. i need to get to my h/p
Departure lounge.
Finally!punched in numbers into my h/p.. finally got to hear your voice.
don't know what to say. I can't believe i'm leaving. crap.. i can't believe i 'm leaving. Bloody AMS
Still don't wanna put down the phone.. just wanna close my eyes and listen to you. Even if we aren't saying much.
almost thot i was gonna hear this announcement.
" Last call for passenger Xue Ling Tan for SQ 228. Your dad demands you drop that phone and get your butt onto the plane now, he is not leaving without you. You're gonna get a grounding if you don't move your ass..."
It's like 14th june all over again.
Landed in singapore. back to my family.
I guess the feeling is sorta bitter sweet. I'm glad to see the ones i love again, sad to leave the one i love.
Yeah.. it's home alright. It felt as though i woke up from the day after Feb 14th and just went right on living. But there's a part of me that's missing.
think i left it in melbourne.
I think i left it in Princess park, in Janet clark hall, on the streets of the city, by the Yarra river...
I won't be able to find it till next year.
back behind the wheel
Geez. 4 months of not driving. Forgot some of the routes. Made some decisions which made my parents gasp. SOunded the horn more than twice. My mom thinks i'm gonna be the victim of road rage very soon if i keep this up. but seriously, the situations just called for it. .. usually i'm a tolerant, innocent babe ( *angelic smile*) ... believe wat you will.
Geez. 4 months of not driving. Forgot some of the routes. Made some decisions which made my parents gasp. SOunded the horn more than twice. My mom thinks i'm gonna be the victim of road rage very soon if i keep this up. but seriously, the situations just called for it. .. usually i'm a tolerant, innocent babe ( *angelic smile*) ... believe wat you will.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
my poor attempt to capture the fantastic view at the lookout point.
tzuie and me at arthur's seat.
one week ago :) arther's seat maze
. nuff said. :) well done sweetheart!
nic winning Jamie Oliver of PBL award.. haha.. you go boy!
bala and me.. gosh. i'm gonna miss his crappy jokes for one year..
from left, jean, aiai, aveline, lz, natasha, wendy, pam, me, michelle and i can't see who's the last person... paiseh..
year 3 med knobs.. gonna miss everyone..
nic, me, angel, lizhen, j9, maggie and bala
tzuie and me at the med party..
birthday gal!
j9's bday.. sorry gall posted it soo late
xl
It's been one week since
we were staring at the overcast sky on Lonsdale street.
muttering about the horrible weather, and bad peripheral circulation and every little stupid thing our minds could come out with.
One week since we waited for the traffic lights to turn green,
when we crossed the road for the 1st time,
hand in hand.
7 days...
Feels like forever tho'...
we were staring at the overcast sky on Lonsdale street.
muttering about the horrible weather, and bad peripheral circulation and every little stupid thing our minds could come out with.
One week since we waited for the traffic lights to turn green,
when we crossed the road for the 1st time,
hand in hand.
7 days...
Feels like forever tho'...
I wish I had more confidence.. in myself, in ppl and in the situations. I seem to think the worst of everything and it really eats me inside out. I dunno when it was that I developed an inferiority complex. Maybe it’s my method of protecting myself from disappointment.
I just keep thinking the worst of every situation. If something’s bad, I keep thinking of how it can get worst. If I’m given some news to chew on, I’ll keep digging out the bad points of the situation and wonder how much worst it can get.. then I’ll start thinking of running away.
See.. when an obstacle crops up, all I can see is the despair. I can’t step back and rationally assess the situation. I just keep letting it bug me, keep turning it over and over in my mind.
This ain’t the first time I’ve let worries or obstacles eat into me. Obstacles seem to consume me totally. That’s all I see. Seriously. That’s all I see. That fucking block to progress… I dunno wat’s wrong… I just hope it doesn’t get worst. There I go again.. ever the pessimist.
Some things never change.
Lego starwars game is DAMN COOL!!!! I vented my frustrations by hacking the shit out of every trade federation droid that bobbed onto the screen. Check out that somersault –lightsaber plunge move. Yeah, the game was cute! They actually redid all the cut scenes with lego figurines with a little twist.
I just keep thinking the worst of every situation. If something’s bad, I keep thinking of how it can get worst. If I’m given some news to chew on, I’ll keep digging out the bad points of the situation and wonder how much worst it can get.. then I’ll start thinking of running away.
See.. when an obstacle crops up, all I can see is the despair. I can’t step back and rationally assess the situation. I just keep letting it bug me, keep turning it over and over in my mind.
This ain’t the first time I’ve let worries or obstacles eat into me. Obstacles seem to consume me totally. That’s all I see. Seriously. That’s all I see. That fucking block to progress… I dunno wat’s wrong… I just hope it doesn’t get worst. There I go again.. ever the pessimist.
Some things never change.
Lego starwars game is DAMN COOL!!!! I vented my frustrations by hacking the shit out of every trade federation droid that bobbed onto the screen. Check out that somersault –lightsaber plunge move. Yeah, the game was cute! They actually redid all the cut scenes with lego figurines with a little twist.
Hair raising!
Agreed to help Yinchin’s fren Sheila model for her hairdressing assignment. Quite fun, just sat there and let Sheila work her magic styling my hair. It looked a bit like Cosplay. She sorta gave me a ponytail like those old Tang dynasty Chinese warriors, then she piled my hair up, stuck in a red hair extension and froze it with lotsa hair gel. Then to finish, she applied make up, added a silver ribbon to my hair and presented me to the marker. I should’ve borrowed Voon yi’s cosplay costumes coz the style really suited that.
It was only later, I discovered that it was an Exam . not an assignment! Holy crap. To think I was nearly late for the appointment. But Yin chin and I had fun posing for pix and just fooling around. Sheila did an awesome job. The marker loved the styles high five* Go Sheila, Go Sheila! She even gave me a free hair trim and a fringe ! So sweet of her! Met this Singaporean hairstylist student there … agreed to model for him on Wednesday.. haha.. this is a funny past time. Just show up, sit there for 45 minutes, let them do what they want with your hair.. pose for photos and then have a free shampoo.
As I was sitting in the chair, I overheard some of the conversations between the students and their teachers. Hairdressing has its own lingo, just like we med knobs have our own. I suppose hairdressing and med are sorta similar because you’ve to learn by practicing on actual people. Sheila was telling me that she was grateful that I let her have a free rein on how to cut and style my hair. I guess I was sorta reminded of the kind Chinese lady I saw on my clinical placement who allowed me to give my first pneumococcal vaccination on her. The only way we can learn is if ppl actually take the risk and allow us to gain experience. Makes me really appreciate all those patients I saw on my clinical placement.
And now it’s back to packing.. Groan.
Agreed to help Yinchin’s fren Sheila model for her hairdressing assignment. Quite fun, just sat there and let Sheila work her magic styling my hair. It looked a bit like Cosplay. She sorta gave me a ponytail like those old Tang dynasty Chinese warriors, then she piled my hair up, stuck in a red hair extension and froze it with lotsa hair gel. Then to finish, she applied make up, added a silver ribbon to my hair and presented me to the marker. I should’ve borrowed Voon yi’s cosplay costumes coz the style really suited that.
It was only later, I discovered that it was an Exam . not an assignment! Holy crap. To think I was nearly late for the appointment. But Yin chin and I had fun posing for pix and just fooling around. Sheila did an awesome job. The marker loved the styles high five* Go Sheila, Go Sheila! She even gave me a free hair trim and a fringe ! So sweet of her! Met this Singaporean hairstylist student there … agreed to model for him on Wednesday.. haha.. this is a funny past time. Just show up, sit there for 45 minutes, let them do what they want with your hair.. pose for photos and then have a free shampoo.
As I was sitting in the chair, I overheard some of the conversations between the students and their teachers. Hairdressing has its own lingo, just like we med knobs have our own. I suppose hairdressing and med are sorta similar because you’ve to learn by practicing on actual people. Sheila was telling me that she was grateful that I let her have a free rein on how to cut and style my hair. I guess I was sorta reminded of the kind Chinese lady I saw on my clinical placement who allowed me to give my first pneumococcal vaccination on her. The only way we can learn is if ppl actually take the risk and allow us to gain experience. Makes me really appreciate all those patients I saw on my clinical placement.
And now it’s back to packing.. Groan.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
cute right? starwars Mpire. thanks dear, for the postcard ;)
ahh.. no one does latte art like my tzuie does.. ( or mebbe i'm just biased.. ) ack ack. then again, no one does "smoked salmon" like i do
Moving mountains.
REverend's words.. " Ren2 Yuan2" never really quite hit home until this week. Coz you see.. i've gotta move house. not only that. i'm going back for a year.. so i've to stuff my barang barang ( Translation : stuff :P this is malay ,tzuie :) ) at my fren's houses.. Basically. i'm gonna need to make myself a real nuisance..
I relaly can't thank my frens enough .. for offering to help me move, for offering to help me stay at their houses.. for offering to help me keep my stuff... It really drives home the importance of friendship and creating good affinity.. thank good ness for you guys....
REverend's words.. " Ren2 Yuan2" never really quite hit home until this week. Coz you see.. i've gotta move house. not only that. i'm going back for a year.. so i've to stuff my barang barang ( Translation : stuff :P this is malay ,tzuie :) ) at my fren's houses.. Basically. i'm gonna need to make myself a real nuisance..
I relaly can't thank my frens enough .. for offering to help me move, for offering to help me stay at their houses.. for offering to help me keep my stuff... It really drives home the importance of friendship and creating good affinity.. thank good ness for you guys....
What's it like ??
1) walking down the streets and wishing that you were here to hold my hand
2) revisiting places where we spent time together... and just reliving those memories
3) waking up every morning with you on my mind.
4) Refusing to give back that blue sweater ( Sticks tongue out at j9)
5) associating salmon with smoke
6) not adjusting the height of my study chair
7) ordering the belgium waffles at Max brenners and wondering how to pronounce souffle
8) drinking hot chocolate and wishing it was the one you made
9) feeling my heart stop beating everytime i see latte art.
10) can't wait to hear your voice every night
11) can't bear to put down the phone
miss you loads..
1) walking down the streets and wishing that you were here to hold my hand
2) revisiting places where we spent time together... and just reliving those memories
3) waking up every morning with you on my mind.
4) Refusing to give back that blue sweater ( Sticks tongue out at j9)
5) associating salmon with smoke
6) not adjusting the height of my study chair
7) ordering the belgium waffles at Max brenners and wondering how to pronounce souffle
8) drinking hot chocolate and wishing it was the one you made
9) feeling my heart stop beating everytime i see latte art.
10) can't wait to hear your voice every night
11) can't bear to put down the phone
miss you loads..
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
without you...
I dunno how i'm suppose to live out the next year.. It's like :
wake up in the morning... the loneliness just hits you right in the middle like a punch.
how can I wake up every morning at dawn
turn around and i remember you're gone.
How can life still carry on
Without you?
And all i can do help myself is just hold on to the memories and the blue jumper, bury my face in it and cry until i'm too exhausted to think anymore.
how can i watch the sunsets by the beach,
knowing your hands are way out of reach
My heart is under siege,
Without you.
I don't know wat to do....
I dun even know what i'm doing anymore. I'm moving around in a haze. I know i'm supposed to start packing, but i just sit in the middle of my room and stare. I meet people for meals, I smile and make conversations without even fully understanding the words they speak. the only thing i remembered clearly was looking at the hot choc that was being served and wishing it was yours. I catch trams to my destinations, snapping out of my reverie long enuff to make sure i don't end up going to airport west or smth.
scenes of life just pass me by and i forget
the rain can't seem to wash these tears of pain and regret,
That's my trouble everyday
Since you went away.
i walked down bridge road. Past all those windows screaming "SALE". Pass the endless stream of traffic. tried to go into my favourite stores.. but all the clothes just seem unable to jog my enthusiasm. i keep gravitating to the section with pink scarfs.
pieces of my heart just lie in shreds,
I can't seem ease this pain and fix this wreck
That's my trouble everyday
Since you went away"
gave up trying to look for anything. had to meet sq and Alv for dinner so headed up to the city. Decided to kill time in the city .. had about 2hours to play around with.
how can i walk in the sunshine everyday,
when all i see are clouds of gray
It' was a mistake to drop at bourke street and walk up to la trobe. I had to pass mekong, QV, that viet place, Little Lonsdale, myers...
I decided to go to central, since we have never been there before.
Walked round and round central trying not to think.... guess the brain ain't working much anyway. i swear i walked past the same shop 4 times. Bought a cap. Decided to go to borders.. mebbe books would help. they always managed to take me away to another world for that few minutes.... hopefully that was enuff to give me a respite for a while.
And then i stopped dead in my tracks. A poster... propped at the entrance... featuring.... coffee art.
It was a damn sad looking leaf pattern. nothing near to wat you can do.
But it was enuff to make me wanna stand in the middle of melbourne central and just cry.
how can i pick up the pieces and move on
knowing full well, you've gone
it's hard to carry on
without you.
it's freaking cold these days
"without you" was the only song i wrote without anyone in mind. Unlike the other songs.. the lyrics didn't mean as much to me... until now.
I dunno how i'm suppose to live out the next year.. It's like :
wake up in the morning... the loneliness just hits you right in the middle like a punch.
how can I wake up every morning at dawn
turn around and i remember you're gone.
How can life still carry on
Without you?
And all i can do help myself is just hold on to the memories and the blue jumper, bury my face in it and cry until i'm too exhausted to think anymore.
how can i watch the sunsets by the beach,
knowing your hands are way out of reach
My heart is under siege,
Without you.
I don't know wat to do....
I dun even know what i'm doing anymore. I'm moving around in a haze. I know i'm supposed to start packing, but i just sit in the middle of my room and stare. I meet people for meals, I smile and make conversations without even fully understanding the words they speak. the only thing i remembered clearly was looking at the hot choc that was being served and wishing it was yours. I catch trams to my destinations, snapping out of my reverie long enuff to make sure i don't end up going to airport west or smth.
scenes of life just pass me by and i forget
the rain can't seem to wash these tears of pain and regret,
That's my trouble everyday
Since you went away.
i walked down bridge road. Past all those windows screaming "SALE". Pass the endless stream of traffic. tried to go into my favourite stores.. but all the clothes just seem unable to jog my enthusiasm. i keep gravitating to the section with pink scarfs.
pieces of my heart just lie in shreds,
I can't seem ease this pain and fix this wreck
That's my trouble everyday
Since you went away"
gave up trying to look for anything. had to meet sq and Alv for dinner so headed up to the city. Decided to kill time in the city .. had about 2hours to play around with.
how can i walk in the sunshine everyday,
when all i see are clouds of gray
It' was a mistake to drop at bourke street and walk up to la trobe. I had to pass mekong, QV, that viet place, Little Lonsdale, myers...
I decided to go to central, since we have never been there before.
Walked round and round central trying not to think.... guess the brain ain't working much anyway. i swear i walked past the same shop 4 times. Bought a cap. Decided to go to borders.. mebbe books would help. they always managed to take me away to another world for that few minutes.... hopefully that was enuff to give me a respite for a while.
And then i stopped dead in my tracks. A poster... propped at the entrance... featuring.... coffee art.
It was a damn sad looking leaf pattern. nothing near to wat you can do.
But it was enuff to make me wanna stand in the middle of melbourne central and just cry.
how can i pick up the pieces and move on
knowing full well, you've gone
it's hard to carry on
without you.
it's freaking cold these days
"without you" was the only song i wrote without anyone in mind. Unlike the other songs.. the lyrics didn't mean as much to me... until now.
Tzuie's camera : me waiting for the chair lifts. btw.. didya know the chair lifts collapsed last time?. haha.. Andrew was merrily bouncing on it all the way down.. goodness.
tzuie and me at arthur's seat maze
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
and you wonder...
- 24 hours -
What can you do in 24 hours?
Drive to the ends of the earth and back, blasting missy Higgins all the way.
Take a trip to the top of the world
Walk through a couple of mazes. Given up on a few, finished one to the end and traced the way back to the beginning for another. Seriously, the option of charging through the hedges never felt more tempting.
Laugh your fucking guts out in front of the TV at the funniest piece of comedy you’ve ever seen.
Fall asleep knowing the answers to the questions that have been piling up in your heart for the past 3 months
Wake up in the morning and wonder if it was a dream.
Take the longest journey to the airport.
Counted down to 11.05am
Smile and wave goodbye.
Stumble to the nearest toilet cubicle and cry for half an hour.
Take the bus home… not knowing how you’re gonna get there in one piece.
What can you do in 24 hours?
Sit in shock for half that time.
Ask yourself what just happened.
Ask yourself how things would have been any other way.
Ask yourself what the fuck are you gonna do?
Realise that the next 24 hours were gonna have to last a year.
What can you do in 24 hours?
.
fall in love.
What can you do in 24 hours?
Drive to the ends of the earth and back, blasting missy Higgins all the way.
Take a trip to the top of the world
Walk through a couple of mazes. Given up on a few, finished one to the end and traced the way back to the beginning for another. Seriously, the option of charging through the hedges never felt more tempting.
Laugh your fucking guts out in front of the TV at the funniest piece of comedy you’ve ever seen.
Fall asleep knowing the answers to the questions that have been piling up in your heart for the past 3 months
Wake up in the morning and wonder if it was a dream.
Take the longest journey to the airport.
Counted down to 11.05am
Smile and wave goodbye.
Stumble to the nearest toilet cubicle and cry for half an hour.
Take the bus home… not knowing how you’re gonna get there in one piece.
What can you do in 24 hours?
Sit in shock for half that time.
Ask yourself what just happened.
Ask yourself how things would have been any other way.
Ask yourself what the fuck are you gonna do?
Realise that the next 24 hours were gonna have to last a year.
What can you do in 24 hours?
.
fall in love.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Doink. Feel like slapping myself. WAKE UP XL… this is NO JOKE.. I dunno the stuff.. tha’ts for certain.. Why can't i recall wat's on teh slides???? oh boy.. paper one wasn't that great, :(.. so many wrong liao. ok.. it wasn't undoeble.. but it was quite stiff.. HOLY COW.. howard grossman went full blast with the stupid LISTs...
You might as well ask me what colour underwear Darth Vadar is wearing.
Hmm. But yet again, I might be able to tell you the answer to the last qns … * innocent grin*
Hai.. back to HP
You might as well ask me what colour underwear Darth Vadar is wearing.
Hmm. But yet again, I might be able to tell you the answer to the last qns … * innocent grin*
Hai.. back to HP
