Sunday, May 29, 2005
Reasons why yoda is knows Buddhism.
" Attachment leads to desire, which leads to fear. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. yo'uve to know how to Let... Go..."
C'mon. it's all in the Dharma man.. I was listening to that phrase. and I was like.. OMG OMG OMG>.. !!! this is sooo cool! Starwars can help propagate the Dharma.. hahah. i was teeling the YAD ppl .. LOOK go watch starwars!!!
I wanna go for the NZ buddhist conference.. will ask mommy..
exams are up next week. So sad. we had our last pbl in teh pub.. that's it. no more hanging out on campus.. no more being based at uni.. no more seeing our wonderful post grads. no more hanging out with everyone at one go... as we gathered in teh foir one last time.. i wanted to stay there to savour the last atmosphere of our batch being one batch..
hmm. this sem? it's being interesting.. :) you know wat i mean . Made many many new frens both ABCs and internationals... well, it's been a blast.. i'm gonna be clinicals soon.. blasting off ofr AMS in singpaore for a year after this.
But now ( ahhh. rubs hands).. exams.. Groan. i can't recall a thing. someone HELP me...
" Attachment leads to desire, which leads to fear. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. yo'uve to know how to Let... Go..."
C'mon. it's all in the Dharma man.. I was listening to that phrase. and I was like.. OMG OMG OMG>.. !!! this is sooo cool! Starwars can help propagate the Dharma.. hahah. i was teeling the YAD ppl .. LOOK go watch starwars!!!
I wanna go for the NZ buddhist conference.. will ask mommy..
exams are up next week. So sad. we had our last pbl in teh pub.. that's it. no more hanging out on campus.. no more being based at uni.. no more seeing our wonderful post grads. no more hanging out with everyone at one go... as we gathered in teh foir one last time.. i wanted to stay there to savour the last atmosphere of our batch being one batch..
hmm. this sem? it's being interesting.. :) you know wat i mean . Made many many new frens both ABCs and internationals... well, it's been a blast.. i'm gonna be clinicals soon.. blasting off ofr AMS in singpaore for a year after this.
But now ( ahhh. rubs hands).. exams.. Groan. i can't recall a thing. someone HELP me...
Thursday, May 19, 2005
FEEL THE FORCE
Oh yez.. feel the fever baby. When I turn on the TV / Radio.. the force is all around!!!! Even in lectures! Alex holmes threw in a few pix of darth vadar and cited luke skywalker’s expectations to illustrate the lecture..
I wish I had my posters.. my lightsaber ( grrrr.. not lightstick) , my starwars toys, my space ships.. my x wing fighter ( WAIL) and my starwars encyclopedia with me.. argh. It’s been such a long time. I turned the on the TV on Sunday and there it was.. OBIWAN KENOBI!!! ( swoon) .. to my shock and horror, I realized I’ve forgetten most of the lines in episode 2.. I swear I could memorise the script in the past.. ok. Memorized Enuff to write a parody of it with my fellow jediknights on the force.net.
I guess none of my Melbourne frens have witnessed the extent of my starwars madness.. my Singapore frens will know better I suppose.. haha. I’ll be waving my mock lightsaber around and jumping on my bed at 12 midnight wed night.. WHOO HOO!!!!! But seriously.. this is taking a hold on me.. after giving in to the force and watching starwars instead of muggin on Sunday night.. Whoopz..
yeah... i think one sms from my fren would sum it all up
“ may the force be with you.”
Oh yez.. feel the fever baby. When I turn on the TV / Radio.. the force is all around!!!! Even in lectures! Alex holmes threw in a few pix of darth vadar and cited luke skywalker’s expectations to illustrate the lecture..
I wish I had my posters.. my lightsaber ( grrrr.. not lightstick) , my starwars toys, my space ships.. my x wing fighter ( WAIL) and my starwars encyclopedia with me.. argh. It’s been such a long time. I turned the on the TV on Sunday and there it was.. OBIWAN KENOBI!!! ( swoon) .. to my shock and horror, I realized I’ve forgetten most of the lines in episode 2.. I swear I could memorise the script in the past.. ok. Memorized Enuff to write a parody of it with my fellow jediknights on the force.net.
I guess none of my Melbourne frens have witnessed the extent of my starwars madness.. my Singapore frens will know better I suppose.. haha. I’ll be waving my mock lightsaber around and jumping on my bed at 12 midnight wed night.. WHOO HOO!!!!! But seriously.. this is taking a hold on me.. after giving in to the force and watching starwars instead of muggin on Sunday night.. Whoopz..
yeah... i think one sms from my fren would sum it all up
“ may the force be with you.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAL!!!
sneaking off to carlton gardens with a trussed up turkey
before the ambush
Before I begin, red hot turkey has requested for me not to put up pix of her being prepared for dinner.. ( aka covered in flour etc.) so I’ll chose the best pix and pop it up. Haha. Don’t kill me yah? You know I love you.. haha..
and coz i love her so much.. i took out the best er.. flourful of pix. so here are the more mundane shots ...
Yez.. red hot cold turkey celebrated her birthday last sat…
Couple of shots of us.. as the story unfolds….
Well, just a note to add to " mind your language"
Yez, Ty, if you're reading this. I admit I "cannot make it" for the aussie accent ;P...
and coz i love her so much.. i took out the best er.. flourful of pix. so here are the more mundane shots ...
Yez.. red hot cold turkey celebrated her birthday last sat…
Couple of shots of us.. as the story unfolds….
Well, just a note to add to " mind your language"
Yez, Ty, if you're reading this. I admit I "cannot make it" for the aussie accent ;P...
Friday, May 13, 2005
After a long absence… the xtra inspired blogger is baaaaack.
Ok. First and foremost, XL will like to wish Red Hot cold turkey a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Hugz!
Thank goodness this week was a huge improvement from the last… urgh.
Mind your language.
Let me ask you. What do you make of the following sentence?
“ Cannot not finish then da bao la! Come la come la!”
Comprehendo? Nien?
Ok.. translated to proper English..
“ If you cannot finish what’s on your plate, why don’t you just ask for a container and take it back? Please do come along for dinner.”
Is that better? But a little wordy don’t you think?
Truth is, if you’re a Singaporean/msian, that first sentence would make perfect sense to you. Singlish/minglish may not be a proper language, but as much of a rogue as it may seem in the world of languages, it make perfect sense to us.
Well, it just struck me how unique our Singapore accent/ singlish is here in Melbourne. Thing is after growing up in Singapore, I’ve always taken “ an English accent” to mean the usual standard aussie/US/british accent that you hear those cool dudes on TV speak in. It never occurred to me that the way I spoke English ( or mangled it up) was unique. The funny thing is that if an aussie spoke to a brit or if a yankee spoke to a kiwi, they would most probably be able to understand each other, coz they’re all speaking in English. Well, I speak English too.. Singapore brand. But when I speak to the locals, I find myself being very inhibited. Suddenly, my command of English ( which is considered not bad by Singapore standards) seems inadequate to bring across my meaning . I am suddenly aware of how every sentence is rife with bad vocab and grammer. I’ve to twist it and mould it to suit aussie standards so that I make myself understood.
IN Singapore, I use 2 forms of English. One is the one I use to address my frens and family. The other is the impeccable form used to address an English Aural examiner. Needless to say, the latter is less well practiced. But it serves it’s purpose fine in an exam setting and I can swap between both with little problem. But even my so called “ better “ standard of English ain’t good enough for communication here.
So my frens and I have to adopt an aussie accent when we speak to the locals. It’s not that we wanna act yandao ( cool) or smth. we just have to, otherwise both parties are gonna end up scratching their heads. After 2 years, I’ve gotten used to adding this new form of English into my command, switching into it automatically when I talk to the locals or ABCs because that’s the way I’m addressed, thinking that that’s the best way to communicate. But I think sometimes, I sound more weird than anything and my English becomes even more stilted than usual.
Anyway, back to scenerio. I was holding a conversation with Rx in Aa’s room. Rx is from Singapore. Aa is a NBC ( new Zealand bred Chinese) and T is an ABC ( aussie bred Chinese). Rx and I were jabbering away about AJC and RJC and some other Singaporean stuff which Aa and T were puzzling over Aa’s screwed up internet. Then the conversation turned to dinner.
“ aiyah.. just dabao lah,” I told her. “ When I cannot finish I always dabao one.”
Suddenly, we realized that Aa and T were staring at us with their mouths open.
“ What was that?” T asked. “ I didn’t get that at all.”
“ Da3 bao1” Rx repeated slowly. “ Take aways….”
Now T and Aa both speak perfect Chinese and English ( which was all present in that one sentence) and they still couldn’t comprehend my speech. Ah.. the seamless way we Singaporeans bring 3 or more languages or dialects together into a sentence, mash up the intonations and yet still understand each other is utterly amazing!
“ Maybe it’s cause they’re speaking really fast that we don’t understand them,” Aa said.
“ No,” T piped in. “ I think it’s because they’ve really turned on their accent.”
Usually when Rx and I usually speak to Aa and T, we speak with our pseudo aussie accent or at very least, in semi perfect English ( or wat I would term : my “ aural exam standard english”. I’ve never really tried speaking in my usual way to them coz I feel like it’s gonna be in vain. Well, I guess their confusion at this point of time really emphasized my point.
But singlish is a skill, I must say. Because when T tried to say something in singlish, he really “ couldn’t make it.
Even the phrase “ you cannot make it la” , has so many different ways of being spoken. You could go high pitch on the “cannot” and built it down in a singsong way. Or you could say it my style in a flat, sneering way. But a wrongly accented “la “ or “lor” just make it sound soooo wrong.
I guess it’s the same with English spoken in different accents. One of our other frens Rt was from Kenya and she was sending us into fits speaking in a deep,booming Kenyan accent and then switching abruptly to an Indian accent. But the thing was, accented as it was.. it was still proper English. None of our little quiltwork of languages. Singlish is hard to comprehend, not only because of it’s intonation, and the rapid way it is delivered.. but mainly because of it’s “rojakness” .
“ Why like that one???” T was still trying.
Aiyoh… he Really cannot make it. He should stick to making us coffee and hot choc. He got back at my stern marking of his singlish by making me finish the last bit of the hot choc with chilli which left me jumping around his room choking and sputtering.. Ack ack It’s just a fact, singlish is mastery better left to us Singaporeans. Why does the government say we aren’t creative! We are!!! Check out this art work of languages baby!
But there is a time and place for singlish, I can’t imagine myself trying to describe carcinogenesis in singlish during PBL.
“ And then ah… that gene, you know that gene.. Yah.. it go kaput ah.. and then ah.. got some guai guai chemical come in and then nong huai the other gene. Then wah lau eh.. it gone case liao oh..”
Yeah. I think my pbl tutor mark would be damn zai also.
Ok. First and foremost, XL will like to wish Red Hot cold turkey a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Hugz!
Thank goodness this week was a huge improvement from the last… urgh.
Mind your language.
Let me ask you. What do you make of the following sentence?
“ Cannot not finish then da bao la! Come la come la!”
Comprehendo? Nien?
Ok.. translated to proper English..
“ If you cannot finish what’s on your plate, why don’t you just ask for a container and take it back? Please do come along for dinner.”
Is that better? But a little wordy don’t you think?
Truth is, if you’re a Singaporean/msian, that first sentence would make perfect sense to you. Singlish/minglish may not be a proper language, but as much of a rogue as it may seem in the world of languages, it make perfect sense to us.
Well, it just struck me how unique our Singapore accent/ singlish is here in Melbourne. Thing is after growing up in Singapore, I’ve always taken “ an English accent” to mean the usual standard aussie/US/british accent that you hear those cool dudes on TV speak in. It never occurred to me that the way I spoke English ( or mangled it up) was unique. The funny thing is that if an aussie spoke to a brit or if a yankee spoke to a kiwi, they would most probably be able to understand each other, coz they’re all speaking in English. Well, I speak English too.. Singapore brand. But when I speak to the locals, I find myself being very inhibited. Suddenly, my command of English ( which is considered not bad by Singapore standards) seems inadequate to bring across my meaning . I am suddenly aware of how every sentence is rife with bad vocab and grammer. I’ve to twist it and mould it to suit aussie standards so that I make myself understood.
IN Singapore, I use 2 forms of English. One is the one I use to address my frens and family. The other is the impeccable form used to address an English Aural examiner. Needless to say, the latter is less well practiced. But it serves it’s purpose fine in an exam setting and I can swap between both with little problem. But even my so called “ better “ standard of English ain’t good enough for communication here.
So my frens and I have to adopt an aussie accent when we speak to the locals. It’s not that we wanna act yandao ( cool) or smth. we just have to, otherwise both parties are gonna end up scratching their heads. After 2 years, I’ve gotten used to adding this new form of English into my command, switching into it automatically when I talk to the locals or ABCs because that’s the way I’m addressed, thinking that that’s the best way to communicate. But I think sometimes, I sound more weird than anything and my English becomes even more stilted than usual.
Anyway, back to scenerio. I was holding a conversation with Rx in Aa’s room. Rx is from Singapore. Aa is a NBC ( new Zealand bred Chinese) and T is an ABC ( aussie bred Chinese). Rx and I were jabbering away about AJC and RJC and some other Singaporean stuff which Aa and T were puzzling over Aa’s screwed up internet. Then the conversation turned to dinner.
“ aiyah.. just dabao lah,” I told her. “ When I cannot finish I always dabao one.”
Suddenly, we realized that Aa and T were staring at us with their mouths open.
“ What was that?” T asked. “ I didn’t get that at all.”
“ Da3 bao1” Rx repeated slowly. “ Take aways….”
Now T and Aa both speak perfect Chinese and English ( which was all present in that one sentence) and they still couldn’t comprehend my speech. Ah.. the seamless way we Singaporeans bring 3 or more languages or dialects together into a sentence, mash up the intonations and yet still understand each other is utterly amazing!
“ Maybe it’s cause they’re speaking really fast that we don’t understand them,” Aa said.
“ No,” T piped in. “ I think it’s because they’ve really turned on their accent.”
Usually when Rx and I usually speak to Aa and T, we speak with our pseudo aussie accent or at very least, in semi perfect English ( or wat I would term : my “ aural exam standard english”. I’ve never really tried speaking in my usual way to them coz I feel like it’s gonna be in vain. Well, I guess their confusion at this point of time really emphasized my point.
But singlish is a skill, I must say. Because when T tried to say something in singlish, he really “ couldn’t make it.
Even the phrase “ you cannot make it la” , has so many different ways of being spoken. You could go high pitch on the “cannot” and built it down in a singsong way. Or you could say it my style in a flat, sneering way. But a wrongly accented “la “ or “lor” just make it sound soooo wrong.
I guess it’s the same with English spoken in different accents. One of our other frens Rt was from Kenya and she was sending us into fits speaking in a deep,booming Kenyan accent and then switching abruptly to an Indian accent. But the thing was, accented as it was.. it was still proper English. None of our little quiltwork of languages. Singlish is hard to comprehend, not only because of it’s intonation, and the rapid way it is delivered.. but mainly because of it’s “rojakness” .
“ Why like that one???” T was still trying.
Aiyoh… he Really cannot make it. He should stick to making us coffee and hot choc. He got back at my stern marking of his singlish by making me finish the last bit of the hot choc with chilli which left me jumping around his room choking and sputtering.. Ack ack It’s just a fact, singlish is mastery better left to us Singaporeans. Why does the government say we aren’t creative! We are!!! Check out this art work of languages baby!
But there is a time and place for singlish, I can’t imagine myself trying to describe carcinogenesis in singlish during PBL.
“ And then ah… that gene, you know that gene.. Yah.. it go kaput ah.. and then ah.. got some guai guai chemical come in and then nong huai the other gene. Then wah lau eh.. it gone case liao oh..”
Yeah. I think my pbl tutor mark would be damn zai also.
T may not be good at Singlish, but he makes one mean cup of coffee and hot choc. check out his coffee art!
Monday, May 09, 2005
Clinicals. ( the last visit)
I was pretty tired. Probably from my fight with the printer till 2am the night b4. Saw a lot of arthris in the morning. INterviewd a patient about his presenting problem. Dr. TV took my suggeston and let me handle a few interviews by myself. After I was done, he asked me for my diagnosis..
"er... allergy? with inflammation of frontal and maxillary sinuses?"
He nodded. " And your management?"
" Er.. antihistamines."
"Good gal"
Saw a HSV case. And went with him to the nursing home. We examined this lady who had a stroke, who had permanent muscle spasms. SHe had incredible clasp knife rigidity. I was practically bent double trying to unclasp her hands. A musty dank smell rose as I bent her fingers back. My heart really went out to her. THe poor lady was contorted into a fetal position. Actullay, we found out that her daughter had changed the doctor in charge because she wanted Dr. TV. to do a CT scan on the lady even tho' the Dr had told her it was a muscle problem, not a bone problem.
Just made me realise how much medicine was really more of dealing with ppl than dealing with knowledge.
" IT's 50 % art, 50% science," Dr. TV said. " If you can't master the science bit, you're a charlatan. Ifyou can't handle the art bit, you're better off in a lab."
Every human is so unique! NOt only in the presenting problems .. but it's relaly the dreaded Biopsychosocial model walking right through the door. From the lady with multiply med problems who broke down and cried because she couldn't cope anymore and her husband was in a nursing home. To the guy who had to look after his wife... to the teenager whoes sprained ankle I examined and who was telling me how he and his frens fooled the gals in a basketball game they played.
And then there was this schizophrenic. I"ve never met one face to face before. I 've written an essay on this condition, but it was quite an experience to talk to someone who was going thru it. He had insight to his condition now, and i noted he quite circumventing my questions. Dunno wheter it was coz of his emotinoal blunting or because he was embarrassed by his conditions.
" it's a curse,' the doctor sighed.. as he debriefed me on the drive back to my house. " that conditons is a curse."
It's sad ... you become a doctor coz you wanna help.. but sometimes.. the will just ain't enough. Coz pple walk in with so much more than med problems.. I feel overwhelmed sometimes. Interviewing is a tricky art. I had a lot of difficulty interviewing this pt who kept giving me roudn about answer.
" I felt like we couldn't connect. " i complained.
" You've got ot hav e a 6th sense, " the doctor said. " It's like having someone watching you. Even if the smelliest, most horrible person walks into thtru that door.. he or she is a gentleman and a lady.. and you treat them likewise. WIth that awareness.. you 'll be able to guide the interview better."
Hai... I wanna be like Dr. T.V.. he's so kind, understanding..such a patient teacher... Never condescending.. open to suggestions and with such a wonderful sense of humour.. :P i'm gonna miss him and clinicals so much.
I was pretty tired. Probably from my fight with the printer till 2am the night b4. Saw a lot of arthris in the morning. INterviewd a patient about his presenting problem. Dr. TV took my suggeston and let me handle a few interviews by myself. After I was done, he asked me for my diagnosis..
"er... allergy? with inflammation of frontal and maxillary sinuses?"
He nodded. " And your management?"
" Er.. antihistamines."
"Good gal"
Saw a HSV case. And went with him to the nursing home. We examined this lady who had a stroke, who had permanent muscle spasms. SHe had incredible clasp knife rigidity. I was practically bent double trying to unclasp her hands. A musty dank smell rose as I bent her fingers back. My heart really went out to her. THe poor lady was contorted into a fetal position. Actullay, we found out that her daughter had changed the doctor in charge because she wanted Dr. TV. to do a CT scan on the lady even tho' the Dr had told her it was a muscle problem, not a bone problem.
Just made me realise how much medicine was really more of dealing with ppl than dealing with knowledge.
" IT's 50 % art, 50% science," Dr. TV said. " If you can't master the science bit, you're a charlatan. Ifyou can't handle the art bit, you're better off in a lab."
Every human is so unique! NOt only in the presenting problems .. but it's relaly the dreaded Biopsychosocial model walking right through the door. From the lady with multiply med problems who broke down and cried because she couldn't cope anymore and her husband was in a nursing home. To the guy who had to look after his wife... to the teenager whoes sprained ankle I examined and who was telling me how he and his frens fooled the gals in a basketball game they played.
And then there was this schizophrenic. I"ve never met one face to face before. I 've written an essay on this condition, but it was quite an experience to talk to someone who was going thru it. He had insight to his condition now, and i noted he quite circumventing my questions. Dunno wheter it was coz of his emotinoal blunting or because he was embarrassed by his conditions.
" it's a curse,' the doctor sighed.. as he debriefed me on the drive back to my house. " that conditons is a curse."
It's sad ... you become a doctor coz you wanna help.. but sometimes.. the will just ain't enough. Coz pple walk in with so much more than med problems.. I feel overwhelmed sometimes. Interviewing is a tricky art. I had a lot of difficulty interviewing this pt who kept giving me roudn about answer.
" I felt like we couldn't connect. " i complained.
" You've got ot hav e a 6th sense, " the doctor said. " It's like having someone watching you. Even if the smelliest, most horrible person walks into thtru that door.. he or she is a gentleman and a lady.. and you treat them likewise. WIth that awareness.. you 'll be able to guide the interview better."
Hai... I wanna be like Dr. T.V.. he's so kind, understanding..such a patient teacher... Never condescending.. open to suggestions and with such a wonderful sense of humour.. :P i'm gonna miss him and clinicals so much.
Dr. Tom V. He's the best best best doctor!!! really sweet guy too.. gonna miss clinicals really bad.
the cutest thing of all! CHANTEL!!!! she's adorable. but she tied me and Voon yi togehter.. i coudln't get to my dessert.. haha..
Another veggie dish from the same restaurant. interesting ah? looks like a shrine or smth.. cute.
SOme dish in a vegetarian restaurant on faraday street. Hmm. mebbe i can consider converting to full vegan.. :) haha.. yummy.
Test is over. whew. i think i ran out of steam. I feel dreadfully run down. Sorry ppl. gimme sometime to recover. I"m not pissed. i'm just tired.. drained.. sleeping too much i think.
STARWARS IS COMING!!!!
STARWARS IS COMING!!!!
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Lose yourself
This week’s been a nightmare.
Sat: Nuff said. . Stoned in shock till 12am, called my mom at 1am, Lay awake till 3am , got desperate for sleep, then decided clonk out myself with a sleeping pill which somehow didn’t work.
Sunday: zombiefied. At least sorted things out. Went out for a walk. let's just say.. wasn't a good idea .
Monday: printer shows signs of choking.. and finally dies on me.
Tuesday: shouldn’t have gone for that bloody lecture. Ultimate waste of my time. Printer head still jumping to the rhythm of a heart undergoing atrial fibrillation. Notes not printer, revision in limbo, lectures gone straight to hell
Wed: last day at Dr. TV’s .. L . I’m gonna miss this guy so much. Met a Schizophrenic, this dude with dextrocardia, a lady with a stroke and clasp knife rigidity. Interviewed lotsa pts.. diagnosed 2. I actually got to take HX and diagnose one pt all by myself with allergic and inflamed sinuses! Dr TV sent me back home, the sweet thing. As I watched him pull out of the driveway, I wondered if I would ever see him again. Ahhh. That’s the kind of doctor I wanna be.
Thursday night: couldn’t go joggin, weather kept making me and lz walk in and out of the sports center. failure to set up j9’s printer on comp. Started on PBL at 10pm. Kicked my foot on the table and lost half my toenail. Bleeding like a stuck pig on the floor. Damn painful. Due to my lousy pain threshold, went into minor shock in my room. Bloody cold, nausea, fall in blood pressure, dizziness, the whole load of shit from a pbl case. Crawled into bed, lay there shivering for half an hour even with my heater blasting full on, couldn’t find my freaking pulse.. tried to finish pbl.. comp screen made me feel dizzy. Toe and whatever is left of my toenail hurts like hell.
Friday: finally got j9’s printer working on comp. Wasted the whole morning with that. clocked stopped at 1.50pm. freaking late for pbl. Bought some icecream which wasn’t great. Shopped at valley gal. Don’t ask me why I’m going shopping on the weekend b4 the test.
Sat: clocked started and stopped at 11am. late for temple. Missed the 1st part of an excellent talk.
Yeah.. that’s my week. Lost my revision rhythm, lost my sleep, lost my printer, lost my cool, , lost my trust, lost my clinical placement teacher, lost my time, lost the first 20 min of PBL, yeah. And here’s the ultimate: Lost my toenail.
Think the only thing left for me to lose is my sanity.
Funny how I run into problems in teh week and the shifu addresses them on saturday.
Forebearance.. hai.. smth i need to learn so bad. I can't let my bad conditions affect myself so much and take it out on others.. Sorry guys.. i'm such a bitch.. argh. Thanks for standing by me .... I don't know wat' 'd do w/o you guys
I't shard to realise when you're down and out that the situation you're in is the result of my karma and my conditions. I keep forgetting that .. i keep forgetting the impermanence of the situation... i keep creating more bad karma with my bad temper... argh.. gotta reflect.. Sorry. sorry sorry guys.. i'm really gone case man.
Thank goodness the week is over. I' think i'm still feeling pretty down, but i'm getting there.. I will be Ready to ROOOOOOLLLL for week 12.
STAR WARS IS COMING!!!! WHOO HOO
This week’s been a nightmare.
Sat: Nuff said. . Stoned in shock till 12am, called my mom at 1am, Lay awake till 3am , got desperate for sleep, then decided clonk out myself with a sleeping pill which somehow didn’t work.
Sunday: zombiefied. At least sorted things out. Went out for a walk. let's just say.. wasn't a good idea .
Monday: printer shows signs of choking.. and finally dies on me.
Tuesday: shouldn’t have gone for that bloody lecture. Ultimate waste of my time. Printer head still jumping to the rhythm of a heart undergoing atrial fibrillation. Notes not printer, revision in limbo, lectures gone straight to hell
Wed: last day at Dr. TV’s .. L . I’m gonna miss this guy so much. Met a Schizophrenic, this dude with dextrocardia, a lady with a stroke and clasp knife rigidity. Interviewed lotsa pts.. diagnosed 2. I actually got to take HX and diagnose one pt all by myself with allergic and inflamed sinuses! Dr TV sent me back home, the sweet thing. As I watched him pull out of the driveway, I wondered if I would ever see him again. Ahhh. That’s the kind of doctor I wanna be.
Thursday night: couldn’t go joggin, weather kept making me and lz walk in and out of the sports center. failure to set up j9’s printer on comp. Started on PBL at 10pm. Kicked my foot on the table and lost half my toenail. Bleeding like a stuck pig on the floor. Damn painful. Due to my lousy pain threshold, went into minor shock in my room. Bloody cold, nausea, fall in blood pressure, dizziness, the whole load of shit from a pbl case. Crawled into bed, lay there shivering for half an hour even with my heater blasting full on, couldn’t find my freaking pulse.. tried to finish pbl.. comp screen made me feel dizzy. Toe and whatever is left of my toenail hurts like hell.
Friday: finally got j9’s printer working on comp. Wasted the whole morning with that. clocked stopped at 1.50pm. freaking late for pbl. Bought some icecream which wasn’t great. Shopped at valley gal. Don’t ask me why I’m going shopping on the weekend b4 the test.
Sat: clocked started and stopped at 11am. late for temple. Missed the 1st part of an excellent talk.
Yeah.. that’s my week. Lost my revision rhythm, lost my sleep, lost my printer, lost my cool, , lost my trust, lost my clinical placement teacher, lost my time, lost the first 20 min of PBL, yeah. And here’s the ultimate: Lost my toenail.
Think the only thing left for me to lose is my sanity.
Funny how I run into problems in teh week and the shifu addresses them on saturday.
Forebearance.. hai.. smth i need to learn so bad. I can't let my bad conditions affect myself so much and take it out on others.. Sorry guys.. i'm such a bitch.. argh. Thanks for standing by me .... I don't know wat' 'd do w/o you guys
I't shard to realise when you're down and out that the situation you're in is the result of my karma and my conditions. I keep forgetting that .. i keep forgetting the impermanence of the situation... i keep creating more bad karma with my bad temper... argh.. gotta reflect.. Sorry. sorry sorry guys.. i'm really gone case man.
Thank goodness the week is over. I' think i'm still feeling pretty down, but i'm getting there.. I will be Ready to ROOOOOOLLLL for week 12.
STAR WARS IS COMING!!!! WHOO HOO
